Love is…planning (Week 16)

Planner. Cruise Director. Anal retentive tour guide. You name: I’ve been called it by friends and family who know and love me. When vacationing to Disney, I am the one who after booking all the flights, reserving cars and hotel rooms, am on my way to the library to check out the latest edition of the parks’ guide to “map out our assault” to best enjoy the rides. When younger and doing this with my mom, dad, and sister, I actually mapped out the daily routine based on their ride preferences so as to maximize their fun. The sick part: I had fun doing all this.

Fast forward ten years (plus a little), and here I am in the south, 5000 miles away from the place where I pay a mortgage, planning again. This time, it is to maximize my parents’ comfort. Pained with health issues, my parents have engaged my sister and me to help with planning their future: money, care, material items, and daily routines. Living wills, wills, financial planning, estate planning, and dividing the responsibilities between my sister and me have been just a few of the basic tasks to tackle this week. I urge every soul who reads this post to make sure you have your “planning” done. Let those who love you know what you seek in your final days: what are your goals, what funding do you require, and how would you like to be remembered. As my parents’ executor, I retain all their paperwork in a fire proof safe and have electronic copies on my hard drive and backup. I anticipate amendments as years pass by. I know all the details: down to the type of flower my mama wants at her services. As with many of life’s aspects: it is in those little things that she finds comfort. Knowing that we planned as a family, have the details covered, and the big ticket items securely stored, gives her and my father peace of mind. Peace of mind so that they can enjoy life to the fullest.

So, go online to a legal resource, speak to a respected elder to garner lessons learned that may help you down this path, and be open and honest with your family. Plan as much or as little as it suits you. If it cannot be done in one sitting, make sure to revisit it again in a couple of months and take it in chunks. Then, go do something fun as a family- go out for ice cream, ride roller coasters, cheer at a sporting event, and make memories.
- Christina