Brian and I chose to have children relatively early in life, and are now moving out of the child-having stage and into the child-rearing stage of life. We are totally thrilled that the boys are old enough for us to show them the world. We are having a blast, camping, fishing, hiking, volunteering, exploring different sports, and teaching them to be good people through small actions every day.
I have to admit, it is a little bittersweet knowing you are done. The boys are growing so fast, and I miss having the tiny, little, warm body curled up in my arms. I miss that sense of calm that came over me as I quietly sat and fed my baby and the joy of experiencing all their “firsts.”
I didn’t realize how passionate I was about the whole baby-having thing, until the next wave of babies was upon us. All my friends that waited are now just having babies, or are pregnant. I got the excited emails and phone calls spreading the happy news, and then came the nervous overwhelmed emails and phone calls asking me questions. It all came flooding back to me, the millions of things to think about, the mountains of baby gear…it made me smile. I jumped on the questions and answered them simply, but as fully as I could. My spirit soared. I started checking my email hoping to find the next set of questions to answer. For some reason my friends felt confident asking me and trusted my answers. I took it very seriously, but at the same time eased their stressed out hormonal minds.
That little nagging voice in the back of my head suddenly quieted. I was no longer torn about having just one more baby of my own. I knew for certain our family was complete, for now. My focus shifted to my friends, to every woman. I wanted them to have the wonderful birthing and nursing experiences I had with both my sons. I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed by the strength with which this new path hit me. Suddenly I was feeling passionate about empowering women to take control of their birth process and make it their own. I wanted to give them the tools, the information, to make the right choices for themselves. I wanted to be there in those first crucial moments to help them get off to a good start breastfeeding. I want to be a birth doula? Huh? Well, maybe I want to be a certified lactation consultant. Wait, you have to be a registered nurse for that? Another bachelors? I was kind of leaning toward a Master’s in Public Health. I could work for the health department and teach nutrition, parenting, or other classes? What certifications do I need for that?
Yes, I am still reeling. I am filled with this sense of purpose, this passion, and this urgency, to provide expectant mothers with information to ease their minds. I feel drawn to the lower income groups the health department services, but like the idea of the closer relationship formed as a doula. Obviously I am still working it out, but in the meantime I am answering my friends questions, recommending books to read, completing the DONA certification process to become a certified birth doula, and impatiently waiting to see where we will get stationed next so I can see what schools are around and if they have an RN or MPH program. So many questions, so many possibilities…
- Jenn
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