Love is…giving more than “leftovers” (week 29)

Love is…giving more than “leftovers”.

Leftovers are a good thing at our house. Luckily, I married a man that LOVES leftovers and gets pumped about having them for lunch the next day. {Luckily, I also married a man that will eat ANYTHING that I make…even when it’s not delicious. God is good.} Or, if we have a grand compilation of leftovers in our fridge, he’s all about having a “leftovers night” for dinner. We even hold fast to the theory that some meals are even better the second night. Am I right? It’s almost like the flavors do a little fusion dance overnight in the fridge and thrill your taste buds in a whole new way the next day. That’s when leftovers are even MORE super delightful!

When are leftovers NOT a good thing? When that’s all you give to your family. Now I’m not talking about food. {which is a shocker, because if it’s one thing I love talking about (and eating), it’s food!} I’m talking about “Life” leftovers. I’ve come to the realization that it is SO easy to give your best all day long at work and to friends…only to come home with nothing left to give your family except for your “leftovers.” Or, if you’re like me, you stay home all day with a little one and still can have nothing left to give your husband when he walks in the door except for “leftovers.” Leftovers of a stay at home mom can be scary. I can remember several occasions during the first few months of life with a new little one when Mike would walk in the door from work and say, “Hey, Family! How was your day?!” and I would look at myself…still in my pajamas {only now, they’re covered in spit up}, hair that looks like it would serve as a nest to some winged creature and racking my brain trying to figure out if I ever brushed my teeth that day. Oh, and there’s a crying baby somewhere in the background. Somehow I’ve managed to make dinner {or to thaw a frozen pizza} and as we sit down to eat, I’ve actually thought to myself: I don’t know that I have the energy to even ask how his day was, let alone hear all about it. That’s a shining moment as a wife & mother, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure we’ve all had at least one or two of those days! And if you haven’t, don’t tell the rest of us. We’d rather think that we’re not alone.

I’ve now come to realize & appreciate the importance of pacing myself throughout the day…reserving enough of myself so that I have something left to give to my family {specifically my husband} at the end of the day. Something more than leftovers! That may mean not meeting that friend for lunch - so that I can get to the grocery store - so that I’m not having to make a mad dash to HEB in between nap time and the “witching” hour – thus not pushing my toddler to the max. That may mean making my morning hours count - so that I have time to straighten the house - so that my husband doesn’t have to come home to the remnants of Hurricane Owen in our living room. That may mean saying “no” to someone else so that I can say “yes” to my family…a HARD thing to do for a people pleaser like myself!

In other words, I’m trying to look for little things I can do to be intentional with my family. Things that will make them feel “first” in my life – and not like they’re always getting what’s leftover - my unused portion at the end of the day.

We’ve all been in charge of taking a dessert or a breakfast treat to some kind of social gathering. Your husband comes into the kitchen after following his nose. The cinnamon…the butter…then comes the harsh realization that he doesn’t get a piece of whatever you’ve made, because it’s for someone else. And you always say, “I’ll bring some home for you if there’s any left!” And then there’s never any left. That’s why there’s a new policy in place at our house – the Mike gets the first piece policy! I was in charge of taking a coffee cake to my women’s Bible Study last week and when I set out the baking dish, there was quite obviously already a large piece gone. That’s because I had cut a piece for Mike before I left. Just a little, tiny, small thing that I can do to make him feel first rather than last.

It can be easy to show love in little ways…but the impact can be big! Never underestimate the power of giving more than your leftovers.